Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
