I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
should my penis look like a turkey
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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