I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
