Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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