you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
