I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
and she was petting her beer can
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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