At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
