What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
well you can't waste a boner
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's blow job season.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
