p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
