Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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