That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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