Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
