I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
