did you get engaged???
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
