Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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