She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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