He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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