They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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