im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize