we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
