You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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