my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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