im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
