I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
you never un-have a 4some
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
