how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize