no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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