is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
