that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize