Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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