watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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