Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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