Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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