.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
