Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
