just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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