its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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