hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
