Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
