I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
it was like eating out sand paper
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize