hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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