quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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