I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
