I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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