Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
