She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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