hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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