Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think a kid would responsible me up
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
