I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
