Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
