He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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