I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
