I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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