So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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