just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
