No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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