I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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